Archive for November, 2008

 

 

Puerto Rican Guy

 

Builds a Time

 

Machine

 

LAJAS, PR – The Puerto Rican Guy built a time machine, and launched it from the UFO airport in Lajas, Puerto Rico.  

Nuclear scientists are concerned about a rip in the space-time continuum, which could implode the universe as we know it.  

However the Puerto Rican (aka Leo Machuchal) is gone, and there is no way to stop him.

Puerto Rican time machine

According to SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Life) scientists at the Arecibo radio telescope, the Puerto Rican landed in the Neolithic era, and quickly became a tribal chieftain.

Puerto Rican guy leads the hunt

Last week in Spain, paintings spontaneously appeared in the Altamira caves which document the legendary hunting prowess of the Puerto Rican.  

King Juan Carlos admires Leo 

The Puerto Rican Neanderthal is wanted by Interpol, the U.N. Security Council and 14 governments around the world, though no one is sure what law he has broken.

 

Puerto Rican Guy.

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George Bush Biopic

 

 

George Bush continues to save Hollywood.

He now revives the biopic genre, with an epic narrative directed by Leni Riefenstahl.

The Bush biopic will feature a cast of thousands, four wars, twelve violations of the U.S. Constitution, and will require a federal bailout.

“This is bigger than Triumph of the Will!” crowed Rupert Murdoch, owner of 20th Century Fox Studios, as he waved an advance copy of the London Times.

According to the Times, two ambulances were summoned to a press screening of the Bush biopic, when several critics fainted without warning.

 

Puerto Rican Guy.

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George Bush,

 

 

 

Comic Genius

 

 

Although the American economy is faltering a bit, President Bush has saved Hollywood.

His re-invigoration of every stale film franchise continues, with a sure-fire Farrely Brothers hit.

According to Hollywood Reporter, the demographics for this film are quite strong.

Three sequels have already been announced by 20th Century Fox…

Dubya, Where’s my Job?,  Dubya, Where’s my House?, and Dubya, Where’s my Wife?

Puerto Rican Guy.

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George Bush,

 

Star Warrior

  

President Bush has saved George Lucas.

The director’s ineptitude in Attack of the Clones will not matter in the summer 2009 release Clone of the Attack

The owner of 20th Century Fox Studios, Rupert Murdoch, is thrilled with this re-invigoration of his Star Wars franchise.

“Bush is a major talent,” said Murdoch. “First Washington, then Wall Street, and now Hollywood. Bush brings excitement wherever he goes.”

Clone of the Attack will open on 8,000 screens and 20 million ipods.

 

Puerto Rican Guy.

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George Bush,

 

Children’s Classic

 

George Bush continues to save Hollywood.

Warner Brothers just announced a re-make of perennial children’s classic The Wizard of Oz.

As a high-concept vehicle, the casting is rather obvious.

Karl Rove will play the cowardly lion, as soon as he clears his court calendar.

 

Puerto Rican Guy.

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