Archive for July, 2009

 

 

Puerto Rican Guy

 

 

Sues Surgeon

 

 

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – The Puerto Rican Guy has suspended his congressional campaign to deal with a medical emergency. 

In an effort to secure the youth vote, he paid a visit to Hillary Clinton’s plastic surgeon. 

Unfortunately he emerged looking like…Hillary Clinton.

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Subsequent re-constructive efforts have been only moderately successful.

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“I think I want my money back,” said the Puerto Rican. 

His opponent, Harlem Congressman Charles B. Rangel, demanded an immediate investigation by somebody, into something. 

“Yesterday he had an ear ache. Now this,” said Rangel. 

“The Puerto Rican is brilliant,” said CNN political analyst Lou Dobbs. 

“He’s clearly pandering for votes. But no one can figure out just who he’s pandering to. It all depends on the surgery.”

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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El Cocolo de Caguas

 

 

CAGUAS, PR – The Puerto Rican guy (aka Leo Machuchal) has temporarily suspended his campaign for U.S. Congress. 

Surrounded by reporters and well-wishers at the Caguas Town Hall in Puerto Rico, he tearfully read some words from a medical report.

Leo’s EKG report

According to the report Leo Machuchal has a brain tumor, which has already eaten most of his left ear.

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Leo has a brain tumor

The tumor has had a strange side effect: over the past two months the Puerto Rican has developed into a world-class surrealist painter. 

The dark demonic imagery has been favorably compared to Hieronymous Bosch and Salvador Dali, and his paintings are selling for six figures in Paris and Madrid. 

His family portrait El Cocolo de Caguas will auction at Sotheby’s next week, where it is expected to set a record for living artists.

El Cocolo de Caguas

We always knew the Puerto Rican was an artist. 

We wish him a speedy recovery, and a prompt return to New York politics.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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NYPD Jew Strikes Again!

 

 

NYPD Jew has struck again. 

Rabbi Leo Rabinowitz has a nose for politicians. 

Last week he took down 44 of them in New Jersey: including three mayors, a deputy mayor, a city council president, two state assemblymen, and 238 building inspectors.

Last year he exposed Governor Eliot Spitzer as Client #9, who did it with his socks on.

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But Rabbi Leo did not stop there.

This week he went undercover again, and proved why he is the most decorated Jew on the NYPD.

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In a stunning piece of detective work, Rabbi Leo went undercover as a buxom prostitute and busted Eliot Spitzer again!  

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Needless to say, Spitzer now has a bit of explaining to do, to his long-suffering wife.

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We salute Rabbi Leo and his heroic search for the truth.

Little by little, he is restoring our faith in democracy.

His make-up is pretty good too.  

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Leo’s First

 

 

Anniversary!

 

On July 28, 2008, the Puerto Rican guy crashed into this world.

On that day, Leo Machuchal announced his campaign for President of the United States.

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He lost due to election fraud, but that did not stop him.

Leo went on to represent the U.S. in the 2008 Summer Olympics.

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He explored outer space for us.

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Back on earth, he got arrested for speeding.

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He beat the ticket and ran again, for Governor of Texas.

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Then he ran for President of South Korea.

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He directed an award-winning documentary.

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He sang as Celia Cruz.

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He wrote a best-selling book.

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He became a Caribbean dictator.

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He visited many Baptist churches.

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He became an undercover police Rabbi.

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He performed exorcisms in Leningrad.

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He wrestled in the gay olympics.

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He developed a time travel machine.

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He had dozens of out-of-body experiences.

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He stepped into the boxing ring.

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He developed new, improved DNA sequences.

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He went to Hollywood.

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And he frightened drunks in Tijuana.

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It was a very busy year for Leo Machuchal.

His adventures inspire us all, and we salute him on his first anniversary.

Felicidades, Leo!

Puerto Rican Guy

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NYPD JEW

 

 

 

Over the past week 44 people – including rabbis, mayors and other elected officials - were arrested for corruption in New Jersey.

 

 

The accusations include bribery of elected officials, laundering tens of millions of dollars, black-market trafficking of kidneys, and the sale of fake Gucci handbags.

 

 

Busted for the bad kidney

 

The corruption is wide and deep. More than 130 public officials have pleaded guilty or been convicted since 2001.

And the hero who exposed it all, is Rabbi Leo.

Rabbi Leo Rabinowitz joined the New York City police force in 1999.

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Since that day, Rabbi Leo has informed on dozens of friends and family members.

He is a highly unpopular Rabbi, but also the most decorated Jew in the history of the NYPD.

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Leo goes undercover

We salute the lonely Leo Rabinowitz. He is paying the price of greatness every day.

His wife threw him out of the house last night.

But he lives in all our hearts…as a great Jewish superhero.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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