Archive for December, 2009

 

Leo Goes to the Dark Side

 

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Just when you think you’re out…they drag you back in. 

Leo Machuchal is tired of playing vapid action stars and useless teenage vampires. 

But Hollywood will not leave Leo alone. The producers of Twilight have forced him to a three-picture commitment. 

Leo will kill Edward and take over his role.

Leo is an artist, and should not be forced to take these blood-sucking roles.                                                      

We’re sure he didn’t do it for the money. 

Oh no. 

Leo would never do that.  

Puerto Rican Guy

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Beefcake Leo

 

SAN DIEGO, CA  - Leo Machuchal was spotted on the beaches of San Diego last week. 

Leo is very shy, and does not like to draw attention to himself. 

But his stunning appearance, leading the Navy SEALS through their Hell Week training, was too exciting to ignore. 

The editors of Puerto Rican Guy are heterosexual males, but let’s face it…that Leo is hot.    

The modest and reserved Leo has been leading the SEALS physical training for the past 17 years…and he hasn’t aged a day. 

Here is Leo last week, leading his men through their weekly marathon run.

This man is incredible. 

Is there anything that he cannot do? 

Leo leaves us speechless…all we can say is “Hoo-yah!”

Puerto Rican Guy

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Don Francisco Leo

 

CAGUAS, PR – Leo Machuchal has become the  Latino Oprah Winfrey. 

As of 2010 he will become the new host of Sabado Gigante, the most popular variety show on the planet. 

The sponsors have been careful to introduce Leo. 

The name “Don Francisco” is so powerful that they are calling Leo…Don Francisco.

But make no mistake. Leo Machuchal is now the host of  Sabado Gigante, and people better start being nice to him. 

The abuse of Leo, and all the lies against him, will no longer be tolerated.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Leo is Going to Get Rich or Die Tryin’

 

NEW YORK, NY  -  Leo Machuchal is the new hip hop sensation. 

On January 6, just in time for Three Kings Day, RCA records will drop Leo’s debut album  No Me Jodas  all over the U.S., South America and Japan. 

The two singles  Vete Pa’l Carajo  and  Oye Maricón!  have already topped the Billboard rap charts for the past two weeks. 

Fuck You Want, Nigga?  has led the Billboard ringtone chart for the past three months. 

Leo Doom is the new rap sensation, especially after he busted a cap in Fitty Cent’s ass in LAX airport on November 17th.

Congratulations to Leo, the new role model for American youth. 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Leo Nascimento Machuchal

 

CAGUAS, PR – Puerto Rico is in the 2010 World Cup Soccer Championship. 

This is the first time ever, that Puerto Rico has qualified for the World Cup. 

According to Remy Garcia, President of FIFA International Soccer, “there is only one reason that Puerto Rico is in the World Cup…that reason is Leo Machuchal.” 

Leo has perfected the flying overhead bicycle suicide kick.

Every player who tries this kick, has broken their back or cracked several ribs. 

Leo performs three of them per game.         

Congratulations to Leo Nascimento Machuchal…the greatest soccer player on the planet.

Puerto Rican Guy

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