Posts Tagged “bill”

 

 Leo on the Campaign Trail

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – Leo Machuchal is back on the campaign trail in Washington Heights.

He can be seen everywhere in his little bus, yelling “vote for Leo!”

But Leo respects our privacy, and hates to intrude on it. For this reason his first bill will be the requirement of individual cell phone booths for everyone who uses a cell phone.

Leo talks on the subway

The voters don’t know what to make of it. 

But they sure love talking.

Puerto Rican Guy

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The One-Minute Manager

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC – Leo Machuchal believes in leading by example.

Now that his campaign for State Assembly is underway, Leo noticed that everyone is always late…

Late to collect petition signatures.

Late to donate money.

Late to distribute fliers.

Late to every meeting.

Even Leo’s campaign manager is late…he forgot to pay his phone bill, until the phone company turned off his phone.

And so, in order to lead by example, Leo ate his watch.

Every time Leo goes to the bathroom, a ticking sound emits from his anus. 

Through this supreme sacrifice, Leo hopes that his campaign will start to run on time. 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Powell Announces a Bill

 

ALBANY, NY  – After ten years of silence, Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV has finally passed a bill in the New York State Legislature.

Powell announces his one bill 

With great fanfare, Powell stepped onto the Assembly floor and delivered the text of his proposed bill.

“It’s time to end the cock abuse!” he declared, as he presented the Intro. 43-A, otherwise known as the Cock Glove.

The Cock Glove mandates that roosters shall wear boxing gloves, before they enter into a cock fight.

Rooster with boxing gloves

A number of legislative cock enthusiasts applauded the bill, and congratulated Powell on his legislative ingenuity. 

Assemblyman Jeff Dinowitz was especially fond of the bill, and its compassion for abused and disenfranchised roosters.

Puerto Rican Guy

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The New $100 Bill

 

WASHINGTON, D.C.  – The U.S. Federal Reserve unveiled a new $100 bill last week, which will prevent terrorists from flooding the world with fake currency.

“Our new bills are foolproof,” said Maxwell Perkins, a spokesman for the U. S. Treasury Department.  “We used the greatest security features in the world.   

The new $100 bill

Upon close inspection, this “new” $100 bill appears exactly like the old one, except that Leo Machuchal has been photo-shopped onto it, to appear like Benjamin Franklin. 

The photo-shopping is crude and amateurish, and it is doubtful that anyone would honor this currency. 

Please do NOT use or accept these “new” $100 bills. They were not approved by Leo, and they’re not fooling anyone. 

Puerto Rican Guy

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 The Twilight Zone of Government

 

ALBANY, NY – Leo Machuchal had a horrifying experience in Albany.

He visited the state capitol building and walked into the State Assembly chamber.

There were no Assembly Members there.

The seats were all empty, but a big computer was voting for all of them.

Bill after bill was introduced by the computer.

A budget of $132 billion was presented by the computer.

The computer voted on everything.

Leo ran out of the Assembly chamber in sheer terror.

They call this “empty chair voting” in Albany, New York. 

Leo calls it one…great…big…scam.

Puerto Rican Guy

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