Posts Tagged “branch”


El Nico Makes a Withdrawal


MIAMI, FL  – A one-man crime wave is sweeping through Dade County.

A South American terrorist known as El Nico has hit seven banks in three weeks, robbing a total of 4 million dollars.             

His modus operandi is very simple.

He walks up to the branch manager and tells him to call his wife.

“Tell her you’ll be late for supper tonight, because I’m going to shoot your balls off.”

After the phone call, the branch manager is in a very cooperative mood.

The branch manager calls his wife

No further information is available about El Nico, and the Miami Dade police are unable to keep up with his Suzuki Hayabusa GSXR 1300.

El Nico makes his getaway

If you have any tips about the whereabouts of El Nico, or why he is robbing all these banks, please feel free to contact us.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Puerto Rican Guy originated in Southeast Asia


BORNEO – A family tree appeared in Borneo last week, with an assortment of Puerto Ricans on every major branch. The tree proves that Puerto Ricans originated somewhere in Southeast Asia, built large boats, and discovered the New World 10,000 years before everyone else. 

“DNA does not lie,” said Niels Borden, the Nobel-prize winning cartographer of the human genome. “Leo Machuchal and his ancestors originated in Borneo and Sumatra. They navigated the Pacific Ocean, landed in Puerto Rico, and settled the entire North American continent.”

Leo demands recognition

The Borneo family tree clearly shows Leo Machuchal, sitting on the lowest branch. Scientists are investigating how a Sumatran orangutan could develop the nautical technology to sail across the Pacific Ocean…a feat unmatched until 1968, when George W. Bush graduated from Yale University.

Puerto Rican Guy

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