Posts Tagged “crime”

 

El Nico Makes a Withdrawal

 

MIAMI, FL  – A one-man crime wave is sweeping through Dade County.

A South American terrorist known as El Nico has hit seven banks in three weeks, robbing a total of 4 million dollars.             

His modus operandi is very simple.

He walks up to the branch manager and tells him to call his wife.

“Tell her you’ll be late for supper tonight, because I’m going to shoot your balls off.”

After the phone call, the branch manager is in a very cooperative mood.

The branch manager calls his wife

No further information is available about El Nico, and the Miami Dade police are unable to keep up with his Suzuki Hayabusa GSXR 1300.

El Nico makes his getaway

If you have any tips about the whereabouts of El Nico, or why he is robbing all these banks, please feel free to contact us.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Leo Accused of Organ Theft

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY – Leo Machuchal has been accused of a most heinous crime.

According to local sources, Leo is knocking on people’s doors claiming to be a U.S. Census enumerator.

He walks into their apartment, knocks them out with chloroform, and rapidly harvests their organs.

However, these reports are being refuted by the U.S. State Department. According to Under Secretary Hershel Bernardi, Leo is planting bombs in downtown Baghdad.  

Either way, this much is clear: Leo Machuchal is being maligned by the military industrial complex which now owns Radio Bemba, and all other forms of Latino communication.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Mal Occhio at the Federal Reserve

 

MIAMI, FL - Leo Machuchal is trapped inside a Federal Reserve Bank in Dade County, Florida. 

It all started innocently enough, when Leo printed up a few bills for his personal use.

Leo didn’t know this was a capital crime of the highest order. 

Pretty soon he was accused of being a G-2 Cuban spy, and had to wear a disguise in order to buy his groceries.

Leo shops at 7-Eleven

The Treasury Department caught Leo. 

They are holding him against his will at the Federal Reserve Bank of Miami, at 9100 Northwest 36th Street. 

They even set up a special mal occhio security system, to monitor Leo’s every move.

Mal occhio at the Federal Reserve

We urge you to storm the Miami Federal Reserve Bank, take all their money, and save Leo from the evil clutches of the international bankers.      

Puerto Rican Guy

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