Posts Tagged “Dade County”

 

El Nico Makes a Withdrawal

 

MIAMI, FL  – A one-man crime wave is sweeping through Dade County.

A South American terrorist known as El Nico has hit seven banks in three weeks, robbing a total of 4 million dollars.             

His modus operandi is very simple.

He walks up to the branch manager and tells him to call his wife.

“Tell her you’ll be late for supper tonight, because I’m going to shoot your balls off.”

After the phone call, the branch manager is in a very cooperative mood.

The branch manager calls his wife

No further information is available about El Nico, and the Miami Dade police are unable to keep up with his Suzuki Hayabusa GSXR 1300.

El Nico makes his getaway

If you have any tips about the whereabouts of El Nico, or why he is robbing all these banks, please feel free to contact us.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Omertà at the Federal Reserve

 

MIAMI, FL – Leo Machuchal is trapped inside a Federal Reserve Bank in Dade County, Florida. 

They have frozen his lips, so that he cannot speak or start a Tea Party. 

It all started innocently enough when Leo printed up the Taíno three-dollar bill, as part of Puerto Rican History month.

Leo didn’t know this was a capital crime of the highest order. 

They accused him of being a G-2 Cuban spy, and he had to wear a disguise to buy his groceries.

Leo refuses to buy pork products

The Treasury Department caught Leo. 

They are holding him against his will at the Federal Reserve Bank of Miami, at 9100 Northwest 36th Street. 

They even built a special cryogenic chamber, to freeze his mouth for a few weeks.

How they chill out Leo

We urge you to storm the Miami Federal Reserve Bank, take all their money, and save Leo from the evil clutches of the international bankers. 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Mal Occhio at the Federal Reserve

 

MIAMI, FL - Leo Machuchal is trapped inside a Federal Reserve Bank in Dade County, Florida. 

It all started innocently enough, when Leo printed up a few bills for his personal use.

Leo didn’t know this was a capital crime of the highest order. 

Pretty soon he was accused of being a G-2 Cuban spy, and had to wear a disguise in order to buy his groceries.

Leo shops at 7-Eleven

The Treasury Department caught Leo. 

They are holding him against his will at the Federal Reserve Bank of Miami, at 9100 Northwest 36th Street. 

They even set up a special mal occhio security system, to monitor Leo’s every move.

Mal occhio at the Federal Reserve

We urge you to storm the Miami Federal Reserve Bank, take all their money, and save Leo from the evil clutches of the international bankers.      

Puerto Rican Guy

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El Padre Alberto is

 

 

Arrested

 

 

MIAMI, FL – Father Alberto Cutié has been arrested in Dade County on charges of lewdness and public homosexuality.

The best-selling author of Love for Real, Live for Real, he stands accused of loving too hard and living too fast.

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Hot Spanish religion

 

Father Cutié is currently situated at Dade County Correctional.

According to police sources, Cutié is very popular in prison.

Despite his popularity Cutié is on a hunger fast, and using ancient prayer techniques to bust out.

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The priest is halfway out

 

 

Puerto Rican Guy.

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