Posts Tagged “dog”


El Nico is Al Pacino


LOS ANGELES, CA  – In a stunning development, producers of the re-make of Dog Day Afternoon today announced that El Nico will not play himself.

He will play the part of Al Pacino, and will scream “Attica!” if police try to arrest him.


Puerto Rican Guy

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Dog Day Afternoon (Part 2)


MIAMI, FL  – El Nico the bank robber has captured the imagination of Hollywood. Producer Martin Bregman negotiated personally with El Nico, who agreed to play himself in a re-make of Dog Day Afternoon.

According to the Hollywood Reporter “El Nico is no amateur. He negotiated for an upfront fee; a first dollar 20% gross deal to a breakeven of $50 million; performance bumps to $200 million; worldwide Xbox 720, DVD, sound track and merchandising rights; and other stuff we can’t understand.”

Puerto Rican Guy

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The Leo Platform (Part 2)


NEW YORK CITY, NY – Leo Machuchal continues with a revolutionary platform for Washington Heights.

To combat noise pollution, Leo says that everyone should wear a cell phone booth.

But that’s not all. Here is the rest of Leo’s anti-noise program:

  1. If your radio can be heard from 25 feet away, you get a $25 fine.

A probable $25 fine

2.    If your dog barks for over 5 minutes, you get a $50 fine.

3.    If you cause any sort of ruckus or disturbance, $100 fine.

A $100 fine for each disturbing singer

Leo will enact all these fines into New York State law, on the first day that he takes office. 

“Why wait?” said Leo.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Adam Clayton Powell IV Announces his Campaign Platform (for the fourth time) 


NYC, NY – Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV, now running for U. S. Congress, announced his campaign platform again – the fourth time this week.

Powell spoke to a crowd of eighteen people and one hot dog vendor at the corner of 116th street and Lexington Avenue.

As his staff yelled “Powell for the People!” the candidate unveiled his new, improved campaign platform.

Powell unveils his platform                

Powell intends to lower the legal drinking age in the state of New York, from age 21 down to age 18. 

Since he took a 19-year old legislative intern to his Albany hotel room and got her drunk, and since this intern accused him of raping her, this is a primary concern for Powell and his constituents. 

Powell announced some other pieces of key legislation, that he will propose for us in the U.S. Congress.   We will discuss those later.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Irena Sendler


LM_BLOG_Irena Sendler

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena Sendler.

During World War II, Irena got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist.

She had an ulterior motive…she knew the Nazi plan for the Jews, and she bitterly disagreed with it.

Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of her tool box.

She carried larger children out in a burlap sack.

Irena also had a dog, which she trained to bark at Nazi soldiers.

The soldiers wanted nothing to do with the dog, and the barking covered any noises from the children.

All by herself, the brave Irena Sendler managed to smuggle and save 2500 children and infants.

When the Nazi’s caught her, they broke both of her legs, both arms, and beat her severely.

Last year Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize. She was not selected.

Al Gore won for a slide show on Global Warming.


Puerto Rican Guy

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