Posts Tagged “producer”

 

Dog Day Afternoon (Part 2)

 

MIAMI, FL  – El Nico the bank robber has captured the imagination of Hollywood. Producer Martin Bregman negotiated personally with El Nico, who agreed to play himself in a re-make of Dog Day Afternoon.

According to the Hollywood Reporter “El Nico is no amateur. He negotiated for an upfront fee; a first dollar 20% gross deal to a breakeven of $50 million; performance bumps to $200 million; worldwide Xbox 720, DVD, sound track and merchandising rights; and other stuff we can’t understand.”

Puerto Rican Guy

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Joselito Canta

 

A song is growing in Leo’s heart.

On a break from his exhausting political campaign, Leo returned to his native Madrid to sing a few gypsy songs. Israeli producer Arnon Milchan happened to be in town, and quickly signed Leo to a three-picture deal, to play a singing teenage shepherd.

“My films are foolproof,” said Milchan. “All Leo has to do is sing and chase sheep into a cave.”

Mr. Milchan was kind enough to provide a film clip.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Puerto Rican Guy is the new Charles Bronson

 

NEW ORLEANS  – Leo Machuchal has agreed to play the part of “Chaney” in the upcoming re-make of Hard Times, co-starring Giovanni Ribisi as the fast-talking manager and Natalie Portman as the lonely Lucy Simpson.

“America needs a new hero,” said producer Lawrence Bender. “Leo Machuchal is the strong, silent type. People believe in him.”

The news Charles Bronson

The film is widely regarded as the 2011 summer tentpole that will either save MGM, or sink the studio forever.

Puerto Rican Guy

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