Posts Tagged “Puerto”

 

 Leo on the Campaign Trail

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – Leo Machuchal is back on the campaign trail in Washington Heights.

He can be seen everywhere in his little bus, yelling “vote for Leo!”

But Leo respects our privacy, and hates to intrude on it. For this reason his first bill will be the requirement of individual cell phone booths for everyone who uses a cell phone.

Leo talks on the subway

The voters don’t know what to make of it. 

But they sure love talking.

Puerto Rican Guy

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El Nico is Al Pacino

 

LOS ANGELES, CA  – In a stunning development, producers of the re-make of Dog Day Afternoon today announced that El Nico will not play himself.

He will play the part of Al Pacino, and will scream “Attica!” if police try to arrest him.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Dog Day Afternoon (Part 2)

 

MIAMI, FL  – El Nico the bank robber has captured the imagination of Hollywood. Producer Martin Bregman negotiated personally with El Nico, who agreed to play himself in a re-make of Dog Day Afternoon.

According to the Hollywood Reporter “El Nico is no amateur. He negotiated for an upfront fee; a first dollar 20% gross deal to a breakeven of $50 million; performance bumps to $200 million; worldwide Xbox 720, DVD, sound track and merchandising rights; and other stuff we can’t understand.”

Puerto Rican Guy

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El Pelo de Nico

 

MIAMI, FL  – A clue has finally turned up in the manhunt for El Nico, who has robbed eleven banks in three weeks in the Palm Beach area of Miami, Florida.

According to Pedro Paramo, Chief of Detectives for Miami Dade County, “the man loves only two things. Money and his hair.”

Sources have told Paramo that El Nico gets his hair done, on the morning of every robbery. “We interviewed every beautician in Palm Beach,” said Paramo, “and we have a few leads.”

El Nico and his hair

Miami Dade police refused to release any further information.

Puerto Rican Guy

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El Nico Makes a Withdrawal

 

MIAMI, FL  – A one-man crime wave is sweeping through Dade County.

A South American terrorist known as El Nico has hit seven banks in three weeks, robbing a total of 4 million dollars.             

His modus operandi is very simple.

He walks up to the branch manager and tells him to call his wife.

“Tell her you’ll be late for supper tonight, because I’m going to shoot your balls off.”

After the phone call, the branch manager is in a very cooperative mood.

The branch manager calls his wife

No further information is available about El Nico, and the Miami Dade police are unable to keep up with his Suzuki Hayabusa GSXR 1300.

El Nico makes his getaway

If you have any tips about the whereabouts of El Nico, or why he is robbing all these banks, please feel free to contact us.

Puerto Rican Guy

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