Posts Tagged “stuff”

 

Dog Day Afternoon (Part 2)

 

MIAMI, FL  – El Nico the bank robber has captured the imagination of Hollywood. Producer Martin Bregman negotiated personally with El Nico, who agreed to play himself in a re-make of Dog Day Afternoon.

According to the Hollywood Reporter “El Nico is no amateur. He negotiated for an upfront fee; a first dollar 20% gross deal to a breakeven of $50 million; performance bumps to $200 million; worldwide Xbox 720, DVD, sound track and merchandising rights; and other stuff we can’t understand.”

Puerto Rican Guy

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Sushigate

 

MAMARONECK, NY  – New York State Senator Pedro Espada Jr. is under investigation for stealing $14 million from the  Soundview Health Center in the South Bronx.

Particularly distressing is $20,000 in sushi which was charged to the Health Center, and delivered over 200 times to Espada’s house in Mamaroneck.

Caught eating sushi

Espada denies living in Mamaroneck or eating any sushi over the past ten years.  The evidence suggests otherwise, with Espada’s name appearing on all the sushi receipts (over 200 of them).

Sushi meal #187

Espada continues to deny it however. “I am Puerto Rican…we don’t go for that fishy stuff,” he declared in an Albany press conference yesterday.

Espada denies eating any sushi

Espada is wrong here. The sooner he stops lying, the better off he’ll be. 

In the meantime, the Puerto Rican Guy loves sushi, and will gladly accept delivery of Espada’s unwanted fish.

Puerto Rican Guy

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