Posts Tagged “Vote”

 

 Leo on the Campaign Trail

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – Leo Machuchal is back on the campaign trail in Washington Heights.

He can be seen everywhere in his little bus, yelling “vote for Leo!”

But Leo respects our privacy, and hates to intrude on it. For this reason his first bill will be the requirement of individual cell phone booths for everyone who uses a cell phone.

Leo talks on the subway

The voters don’t know what to make of it. 

But they sure love talking.

Puerto Rican Guy

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments 0 Comments

 

Political Petitions in Washington Heights

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  –  After one day of circulating their petitions, the political campaigns have turned ugly in Washington Heights.

Former City Councilman Guillermo Linares has recruited a group of zombies to collect his petition signatures, and they are causing property damage in the Marble Hill Houses.

Linares worker asks a Democrat for a signature

According to Leo Machuchal, Section 8 of the Voting Rights Act “specifically prohibits the hiring of zombies north of 96th street.” 

For this reason, Machuchal is demanding federal marshals to monitor all election activity in upper Manhattan. 

“I can handle it when dead people vote,” said Machuchal. 

“But here in Washington Heights we kill them three, four or five times…and they still vote.”

Puerto Rican Guy

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments 0 Comments

 

Voter Registration in Washington Heights

 

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY – Politics is an extremely greasy pole in New York City. But some politicians are reaching a new low in Washington Heights, in a frantic bid to save their political careers.

With a 22% job approval rating, Assemblyman Adriano Espaillat has become desperate and is using an unprecedented tactic.

Espaillat is running all over his district, registering dead people into the Democratic party.

Espaillat sees dead people…then registers them to vote

It is unclear how these people will vote on election day. However, according to the Assemblyman, “the people will rise up and vote for change…and that change is me.”

A massive voter turnout for Assemblyman Espaillat

 

Puerto Rican Guy

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments 0 Comments

 

Ed Koch for Governor

 

NEW YORK CITY, NY – The unbelievable has occurred – former New York City mayor Ed Koch is running for governor of New York State!

He hasn’t raised much money yet, so he’s using this commercial from his last campaign for governor.

The commercial is vibrant, shocking and exciting:  

Ed Koch is clearly the man for our times. The old ladies love him, and so do the construction workers. 

Leo Machuchal says vote for Ed Koch !

Puerto Rican Guy

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments 0 Comments

 

Avatar Politics

 

CAGUAS, PR – With the suicide flight into a Texas IRS building, Leo Machuchal urges all our politicians to be extra-cautious.

“They should never appear in public,” says Leo, “cause someone will just shoot them.”

Instead Leo suggests a new Avatar Politics – where a surrogate meets all the people, and does all your campaigning for you.

For a low-budget campaign you can just send out a banner, and let everyone cheer for it.

VOTE FOR THE  POSTER!

With all due respect to Leo, this is exactly how are political system has run for the past 30 years. 

Leo needs to be more original. 

Puerto Rican Guy

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments 0 Comments