Posts Tagged “Wife”

 

El Nico Makes a Withdrawal

 

MIAMI, FL  – A one-man crime wave is sweeping through Dade County.

A South American terrorist known as El Nico has hit seven banks in three weeks, robbing a total of 4 million dollars.             

His modus operandi is very simple.

He walks up to the branch manager and tells him to call his wife.

“Tell her you’ll be late for supper tonight, because I’m going to shoot your balls off.”

After the phone call, the branch manager is in a very cooperative mood.

The branch manager calls his wife

No further information is available about El Nico, and the Miami Dade police are unable to keep up with his Suzuki Hayabusa GSXR 1300.

El Nico makes his getaway

If you have any tips about the whereabouts of El Nico, or why he is robbing all these banks, please feel free to contact us.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Divorce, Garcia Style

 

Leo Machuchal’s law partner, Remy Garcia, has become the most famous divorce lawyer in Caguas, Puerto Rico.

“At first I represented the men,” said Garcia, “but every man in Caguas is cheating on his wife, plus the women pay better.”

Garcia specializes in the “His and Her” settlement, where the husband ends up with a “His” towel and the photos taken by Garcia’s detective.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Garcia Defiende el Loco

 

CAGUAS, PR – Leo Machuchal’s law partner, Attorney Remy Garcia, has scored another stunning legal victory.

His second client was a murderer, just like his first client.

This one shot his wife, called the cops, and confessed everything to them.

It was an open-and-shut case until Garcia came into the picture.

Attorney Garcia was hired on Monday.  He went to trial on Tuesday. 

During the trial, Garcia started screaming at everyone, including his own witnesses. 

The defendant kept cheering for Garcia, every time he opened his mouth. 

In his closing speech, Garcia argued that the defendant had to be crazy, or else he wouldn’t have hired Garcia. 

The jury agreed with Leo. 

After twenty minutes, they declared the man insane.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Vote for the Homeless Congressman

 

There is a homeless congressman in Washington, D.C. 

His wife caught him sleeping with an intern, and kicked him out of the house.

Take a memo, darling

His staff kicked him out if the office because he smelled too bad. 

He has no money and no campaign office. 

In fact, his entire campaign consists of sitting on the steps of the Capitol Building and talking to himself.

LM_BLOG_BUM

Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me, vote for me, vote for me…

According to Leo Machuchal the homeless congressman is the only honest politician remaining, in the entire country 

He is therefore voting for him.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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Puerto Rican Marital Guide 

 

By popular demand, the Puerto Rican Guy has continued his research into American marriages.
Typical American wife

The statistics are clear and overwhelming: the survival of marriage in the U.S. will depend entirely on the virility of the American male. 

Since this is dwindling and fragile, here are some important hints. 

They may seem old fashioned but they work in Puerto Rico, where they are called “The Good Wife’s Guide.”

  • Be happy to see him.
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by.
  • Always fan him in July.
  • Minimize all noise.
  • At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum.
  • Encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Your husband works very hard, so treat him like visiting royalty.
  • He will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
  • Always remember: catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • A good wife always knows her place.

 

Puerto Rican Guy

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