Posts Tagged “worldwide”

 

Dog Day Afternoon (Part 2)

 

MIAMI, FL  – El Nico the bank robber has captured the imagination of Hollywood. Producer Martin Bregman negotiated personally with El Nico, who agreed to play himself in a re-make of Dog Day Afternoon.

According to the Hollywood Reporter “El Nico is no amateur. He negotiated for an upfront fee; a first dollar 20% gross deal to a breakeven of $50 million; performance bumps to $200 million; worldwide Xbox 720, DVD, sound track and merchandising rights; and other stuff we can’t understand.”

Puerto Rican Guy

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Puerto Rican Guy is a Crossover Sensation

 

HONG KONG  – A shocking moment occurred in the Worldwide Kumite di le Kung Fu. For the first time in history, the same fighter won in three weight classes and two species categories.

It all started when Leo Machuchal won the bantam and middleweight Kung Fu competitions, with full contact and no time limit.

Leo slips a punch

Then Leo won the heavyweight belt.

Leo knocks out Sonny Chiba

Then Leo shocked the world, when he fought as a baboon in the Inter-species division.

Leo transcends his baboon roots

“Machuchal is incredible!” proclaimed WKKF President Hung Ho Fat. “He wins as a bantam, a middle, a heavy…and then as a baboon!” 

Endorsement deals for Leo are under negotiation with Nike, Coca Cola and McDonald’s. The French press are hailing him as “Le Baboon Terrible.” 

A complaint was registered by one of Leo’s opponents, pointing out that there are no baboons in Puerto Rico, and thereby accusing him of taking BGH (Baboon Growth Hormone). 

The WKKF’s decision is still pending.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Puerto Rican Guy is a Crossover Sensation

HONG KONG  – A shocking moment occurred in the Worldwide Kumite di le Kung Fu. For the first time in history, the same fighter won in three weight classes and two species categories.

It all started when Leo Machuchal won the bantam and middleweight Kung Fu competitions, with full contact and no time limit.

Leo slips a punch

Then Leo won the heavyweight belt.

Leo knocks out Sonny Chiba

Then Leo shocked the world, when he fought as a baboon in the Inter-species division.

Leo transcends his baboon roots

“Machuchal is incredible!” proclaimed WKKF President Hung Ho Fat. “He wins as a bantam, a middle, a heavy…and then as a baboon!” 

Endorsement deals for Leo are under negotiation with Nike, Coca Cola and McDonald’s. The French press are hailing him as “Le Baboon Terrible.” 

A complaint was registered by one of Leo’s opponents, pointing out that there are no baboons in Puerto Rico, and thereby accusing him of taking BGH (Baboon Growth Hormone). 

The WKKF’s decision is still pending.

Puerto Rican Guy

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Adam Clayton Powell IV Announces his Campaign Platform (again)

 

NYC, NY – Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV, now running for U. S. Congress, announced his campaign platform this week.

Powell spoke to a group of lively accountants, at their annual AICPA conference in New York City.

As his staff yelled “Powell for the People!” the candidate announced the “people’s accounting” law which he will propose in Congress.

Powell talks to accountants

“People are hurting!” shouted Powell. “The IRS is looking into every little thing, and that is wrong!” 

As an example, Powell cited the $30,000 in campaign funds which he used for worldwide travel, hotels, restaurants, tuxedo rentals, the lease for a BMW sports car, the purchase of a boat, and legal fees to his criminal defense lawyers when he was accused of embezzlement, raping two women and driving while intoxicated on the Henry Hudson Parkway. 

“This isn’t about me,” said Powell. “It’s not about my boat, my car, my trip to Ireland, my criminal defense lawyers, my drinking, my driving or my women. It’s about you…the regular people. Because I represent you.”

Puerto Rican Guy

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